You Always Knew
by allthefeelsallofthem
Summary: "M'gann, we need to talk." After the events of Cornered Conner visits M'gann, and she tells him everything. Together they work to find a solution to Kaldur's situation...and maybe even their own. Warning: sexual content


Author's Note: I have discovered that writing is an excellent form of stress relief. Which I really need with exams starting tomorrow. I also need to spend all my time studying, but oh well.

"M'gann, we need to talk." She sighed inwardly, knowing he was right. If she was honest with herself, she had been both hoping and dreading that this moment would occur. Dreading it because it would mean fully admitting what she had done, but also desperately hoping that Conner would help her. Even forgive her, but she doubted that was possible.

He had been right. So right. She _was_ no better than Psimon. She could justify her actions to herself all she wanted, saying that she only used her powers on the "bad guys", that what she did helped the team, and that enemies died in physical combat all the team, so why was there a rule that said they couldn't become _brain_ dead from mental combat? but she knew the truth now. The truth that Conner had seen right from the beginning.

Steeling herself for the conversation, she opened the door…and there he was. Even though they weren't together anymore she still reacted to his presence, still felt that current of electricity down her spine. He was so handsome, despite the fact that his brows were pulled together from the stress of their situation, his mouth set in a frown. She remembered a time when he had smiled, when he had held her and kissed her until her head spun, when he stayed with her all night, comforting her after a difficult mission or making love. That time was gone though. She was with La'gaan now. But no matter what she had said to Conner that day in the bioship, he had been right again. La'gaan was a rebound. That wasn't to say she didn't care for him, because she did –he was a nice guy, and fun to be with– but he wasn't Conner. That was why she had declined his call, because no matter how hard he tried he didn't understand her as well as Conner did, wouldn't push her and point out what she had done wrong and work with her to find a solution.

She stepped aside, silently inviting him inside. Once the door had closed behind him he turned to her and paused for a second, working though what to say.

"Why didn't you use your powers?"

Irrational anger flared. "What, now you want me to? You just can't make up your mind, can you?" Her voice broke at the end, betraying the fear and pain beneath. Embarrassed, she turned away towards the plant she had been watering, fighting tears.

"M'gann. Look at me." _Please_ he added mentally, surprising her. Ever since she had tried to alter his memories he had stopped talking to her that way unless on a mission. Cautiously, she moved to face him again, trembling slightly.

"What happened on the Reach's ship? I know something's wrong, you've been acting strangely since then. And now all of a sudden you won't use your powers to take out the enemies' minds? Don't get me wrong. I'm relieved –but I don't understand."

"Conner…I…I…" Her eyes were burning now, and a pain was building in her throat, choking off her words. "I'm a monster." He blinked, surprised, but then continued to stare at her with such intensity that it was as if for him there was nothing else in the world.

"What. Happened." His voice was soft, and one of his hands reached up to gently brush a tear off her cheek.

M'gann closed her eyes, squeezing out a few more unshed tears, and spoke quickly, trying to get it all out in the open as quickly as possible. "Artemis is alive. Kaldur didn't betray us –he's a double agent trying to infiltrate his father's organization and find out who the final member of the Light is and what they are planning. He, Nightwing, and Wally are the only ones who know…or were until I attacked Kaldur and ruined everything. I may as well have killed him. You were right. I should never have used my powers that way." With that she lost whatever scrap of self-control she had left and began to sob. "I hate myself."

She kept her eyes shut, afraid to look at Conner, to see the disgust that she was sure was in his eyes. But then suddenly she felt his arms around her, pulling her in close. Instinctively she buried her face in his shoulder, hands grabbing at his shirt. Unable to speak, she cried for what felt like hours as he stroked her hair. Finally able to compose herself, she pulled away just enough to look into his eyes.

"What do I do?" Her voice was weak and broken sounding. "I want to die…"

His face, which had been soft as he comforted her, suddenly darkened with anger. "Don't you even _think _about that M'gann." He shook her roughly by the shoulders. "Just because we may have lost Kaldur does _not_ mean we need to lose you too." _Don't leave me_.

Her heart went into overdrive went he projected the last bit, remembering when he last said that in Belle Reve. And how he had kissed her afterwards. Was that what he was thinking of now too? She hoped he was. Or more accurately she wanted him to be thinking about kissing her, wanted it so badly it took her breath away. _Conner…_

_I mean it M'gann. Don't you dare do anything to hurt yourself. I couldn't take it._

_ I thought you didn't care about me any more._

_ Dammit, _he frowned again; _of course I care about you. I love you. Always have, always will. No matter what you do._

_ But…you broke up with me_. Her mind was reeling, trying to take in everything that was happening. _I thought you hated me, and that even if you didn't that you would once I told you what I did._

_ Didn't you hear me? No matter what. I don't agree with you abusing your powers. But that doesn't change how I feel. After everything we've been through, did you actually think it was possible for me to hate you?_

_ I…but…_Then it all fully registered. Finally her head began to work properly, and she understood. _I love you too. _Still looking into his eyes, she saw them darken again, though with desire instead of anger. Slowly she stretched up towards him, just as he leaned down, and their lips met. It tasted like the salt from her tears, triggering guilt over what her Atlantean boyfriend would think, but she knew that this was the man that she wanted, the one she needed to be with. She would end things with La'gaan as soon as possible, but for now she had more important things to think about. Like how amazing it felt to finally be kissing Conner again.

His hands slid down her back, over her ass, and wrapped around her thighs, which he lifted, allowing her to wrap her legs around his strong back and pull herself even closer to him. She yanked at the hem of his shirt, and he moved his hands off her legs, letting her hold herself up, and, in one smooth motion, pulled off the offending article of clothing and threw it to the side. His hands then returned to her body, slipping under her shirt to grab her back as he carried her into the spare bedroom her uncle kept for her. With the air of someone who had done it many times before he lowered her onto the bed, keeping their lips connected. As M'gann began to gasp for breath he moved down to her neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below her jaw as she moaned with pleasure.

Head leaned back to allow Conner maximum access to her neck, M'gann's eye's fluttered open and caught sight of one of the pictures on the wall. One she had put up almost five years ago that showed the original team. Her vision instantly narrowed to the tall boy in the back with the dark skin and light hair, smiling slightly for the camera. Her body tensed, and Conner, sensing the change, stopped what he had been doing.

_What's wrong? Is it La'gaan?_

_No…another Atlantean_. He noticed what she was staring at and realized what the problem was.

_I don't deserve this. I did a terrible thing_. She lost sight of the room for a second, remembering Kaldur falling to the floor.

_Well what are you going to do about it?_ Conner lay down beside her and pulled her onto her side to face him, gently wrapping his arm around her. _Do you think you can help him?_

_I don't know. I've never tried to put a mind back together._

_ Yes you have._

_ What? No I haven't! Why would I fix an enemy?_

_ I'm not talking about an enemy. I'm talking about me. Remember? In Bialya, during the fight with Psimon. You restored all of the memories I lost. _He kissed her softly.

She looked shocked. _You think that would work?_

_ I don't know, you're the psychic, you tell me._ There was a hint of laughter in his voice.

_Well….maybe. I have all his memories, so I should be able to put them all back. But how would I get close enough to him for long enough to try? Black Manta isn't exactly easy to find or hide from._

Suddenly her hands flew to her mouth as it dropped open in shock. _What…what if I wasn't me? What if I shifted into Psimon and offered my services?_

He tightened his grip on her, eyes lighting up. _That might work. You've already shown that you can beat Psimon, and if you can put him out of commission for long enough to help Kaldur…_

Her lips began to pull upward into a smile, her first real one since attacking Kaldur. Conner smiled too, relieved that having a plan seemed to be pulling her out of her misery and self-hatred. _You're so beautiful_. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her again, and having lightened her emotional load M'gann put everything else out of her mind and concentrated fully on how it felt to have his lips against hers. She pulled him back on top of her, phasing out of her shirt so that she could feel his body against hers. Surprised by the sudden skin-on-skin contact Conner moaned deep in his chest, the sound only serving to turn her on more.

Suddenly desperate to feel even more of him she began to undo his belt, as he tugged at her pants, which she quickly also phased out of.

_Are you sure you want to do this? _He asked, worried that she was trying to distract herself from her problems.

_I've never been surer of anything in my life. I love you and I want to be with you. My stupidity has already lost us enough time, and with the invasion who knows how much time we have left?_

_ Don't say that. Nothing will happen to either of us._ He kissed her more deeply, then pulled back to look into her eyes as he slid himself inside her. Both of them gasped in pleasure, and as he slowly began to thrust the feeling intensified, until they climaxed together for the first time in far too long.

Breathing heavily they fell back onto the bed, M'gann resting her head on Conner's chest as he again wrapped an arm around her.

_Thank you._ She whispered.

_For what?_

_ For believing in me._

Author's Note: I wasn't planning for that to get any steamier than kissing (if even?) but, well... :P Btw it's my headcannon that they don't need condoms or anything because a) she's a shapeshifter and can probably deal with it somehow and b) they're not actually even the same species.

The Psimon thing was not my idea (no matter how much I wish it was) -one of my friends saw it on tumblr somewhere and told me. I reaaaalllllly hope it's true. I don't think my poor heart could take it if it wasn't.


End file.
